


Firsts

by MishaPadackles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 17:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MishaPadackles/pseuds/MishaPadackles
Summary: Castiel has some firsts





	Firsts

“Dean Winchester.”  
Castiel looked up from his book. He couldn’t explain what had made him look up. It wasn’t like he cared, there had been plenty of new students joining the school, and he hadn’t cared when any of them came, but for some reason he had the feeling that Dean would be someone important to him. It was just a gut feeling, like when you watch a movie and you can feel that something they show is going to be important later on in the plot.   
He watched as Dean nodded at everyone, not saying hello like some kids did, and not taking the smart ass response some of the new boys always did.   
“Go ahead and take a seat, we have assigned seating but I’ll just add your name in since it’s so late in the year.” Mr. Reeves waved Dean on to go, as if he didn’t even care there was a new student. He probably didn’t, in his mind it was just another paper to grade.   
Dean looked around the room and Castiel felt his heart pound as he realized one of the only empty seats was next to him. His heart pounded faster and he felt a blush go across his face, his tell tale signs of anxiety, he hated having to talk to new people.   
Luckily for him, Dean wasn’t like most new people, feeling the need to talk to someone right away. He just sat down and looked up to the front of the classroom. Cas nearly sighed with relief.   
The class went by slowly, Cas unable to focus much, between Dean next to him and his mind being on other things. When the bell finally rang Dean got up so fast Cas barely saw him move. Cas just grabbed his things and began the walk to the lunchroom. He never sat there because of all of the noise but you had to go through it to get anywhere else in the school, so he grabbed his headphones to block out the noise and started heading to the doors where he always went out to sit under a tree, technically off of school grounds it was so far away.   
It used to be where all of the smoker’s used to go because it was off campus, but the location had moved so much that a lot of the kids just snuck it on grounds because they were sick of moving around. Now Cas used this tree to read his books during lunch time, and he swore he could smell cigarettes sometimes.   
Today he smelled it like he sometimes did, and it took him a few moments to realize that it wasn’t in his mind, there was someone behind the tree that he hadn’t noticed.   
“You want one?” Cas stared up, his mouth hanging open as he realized it was Dean. He was holding a pack, lid opened, out to him.   
“I, uh, no. No thank you, I don’t smoke.” Cas finally replied, looking up as Dean smiled down at him.   
“Fair. These things will kill you.” Dean placed his cigarette loosely in his mouth as he snapped the pack closed and slipped it in his pocket. “Mind if I sit with you?” Cas shook his head and Dean plopped down next to him, taking a long drag and flicking the ashes off of the end of his cigarette.   
“I’m Dean by the way. I know we just had English together, but we didn’t actually talk to each other. Besides introducing a new kid in front of the class isn’t fun for anybody.”   
“You know I’ve always wondered why they do that. No one cares.” Cas smiled as Dean chuckled, liking that he made him laugh.  
“Hell. They like torturing us.” Dean smiled again before taking another drag. “You still haven’t told me your name.” He exhaled as he looked over at Cas.   
“Castiel.” Dean squinted slightly.   
“Castiel? Okay then.”   
“I got off lucky. One of my brother’s names is Balthazar.” Cas grinned widely as Dean threw his head back with laughter.  
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t laugh, that’s your brother.” He wiped at his eye, sighing as the laughter ended. He looked at Castiel who was watching him, a smile on his face.  
“No, no it’s okay. We all give each other crap. Never in front of our parents, they’re really proud of themselves over our names.” Dean nodded and finished off his cigarette, the two of them falling into a comfortable silence. After a few moments Dean fished his pack out of his pocket.   
“Another?” Cas asked before he could stop himself. It wasn’t like it was his business, he just imagined it wouldn’t feel good to have two in a row like that.   
“Hey back off me. I have to make it through the whole day with only the two I have during lunch.” Dean smirked as he lit the second one. Cas stared at it for a moment, watching the end burn slow, the fire growing brighter as Dean inhaled, then dim as he finished inhaling. Dean looked at him and held his pack out. Cas didn’t move, just stared at it, then pushed his glasses back onto his face and grabbed one. 

When the last bell of the day went off, Cas walked to the doors, feeling something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Confident. Today was his first day of firsts and it felt good. First time he had talked to someone he didn’t know and felt comfortable, first cigarette, and first time he hadn’t read in the last two of his classes. He hadn’t felt like he had to. He had even left his headphones in his pocket as he started walking home, something he definitely hadn’t done in a long time. It was a partial way to hide and also because the walk home took half an hour.   
He was five minutes into his walk when he heard a low rumble of an engine pulling up beside him. He felt his stomach clench. There was usually only one reason cars pulled up next to you on a quiet road.   
“Need a ride?” Cas’ stomach went from clenched to butterflies as he recognized the deep voice.   
“No, it’s okay, I’m not much farther.” Cas had bent down to look at Dean, who just shook his head and laughed.   
“Dude, you still have at least 20 minutes of walking. Get in the damn car.” He reaches over and pushed the door open, showing that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Cas hesitated then decided to do another first of the day. Get a ride from a friend. He wasn’t actually sure if they were friends, but it felt like they were definitely going to be with how much he had already seen him today. He sat down and pulled the door closed. It wasn’t until dean started pulling away that it occurred to Cas that Dean had known how far away he lived.  
“How did you know I live far away?” Dean looked at him before smirking and looking back at the road.   
“Do you not pay attention, or just not go outside?” He smiled. “I moved into the house across the street from you. I saw you walking to school today.” Cas blushed. He had no idea someone had even moved out let alone someone else moving in.   
“I.. don’t leave my room much.” He admitted quietly. Dean just shook his head and turned the radio up.  
“Looks like I’ll have to change that.”

 

Cas was sitting on his bed, his feelings mashing together in his body. He was trying to ignore them by reading his book, but they kept poking around in his mind. He set his book aside and looked out of his window, Dean’s words echoing in his mind. When he pulled up to Cas’ house (Cas called it ridiculous because he lived across the street, Cas could easily walk across the street) he looked into Cas’ eyes and said “I wasn’t kidding, I’m going to get you out more.”   
Cas had never told anyone about his preferences but he knew, he liked Dean. A lot. And he kept replaying that day, all the way up until he saw Dean wait until Cas opened his door, only when Cas put his key and open his door did Dean finally pull his impala over to his house across the street and park it. Cas watched him from the living room window until he saw him disappear into his house.   
He didn’t understand how he was so oblivious to the fact that someone had moved out and someone else came in, but it wasn’t that hard for him to believe. He always had his curtains closed, music playing and his nose in a book.   
Now however, he had opened his curtains. He had tasted a different life today, and he loved it. He replayed all of his firsts again, sad that he had met Dean on a Friday. Who even came to their first day of school on a Friday? It was silly to feel sad about not seeing Dean because he lived across the street from him, but he was still pretty sure that Dean wouldn’t want to spend time with him outside of school. He was the new kid, maybe he just needed a friend so he wasn’t the weird new kid all by himself.   
Cas sighed and picked his book back up. He read for hours. With tomorrow being Saturday he didn’t care if he stayed up all night.   
Around midnight just as he finished his book, he heard a noise outside of his house. He stood up and walked to the window, standing off to the side so whoever was outside wouldn’t see him. He looked around, not seeing anything to match the noise. He didn’t hear the noise either, he wasn’t actually sure he had heard it, it was a single small noise, and he laughed at himself. It was probably just one of the cats who liked to roam the neighborhood. He stood up, no longer caring that he was fully visible in the window since no one was out there.   
As soon as he stood up though, he saw something fly at him and he had to fight to not scream out in surprise. He looked outside and this time he did see someone. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust enough to see Dean’s face. Dean waved up at him and beckoned him down. Cas held up his finger in a ‘one minute’ gesture and grabbed his shoes.  
Going as silently as he could by his parents’ door, he made it to the stairs and walked down slowly and silently. He stopped in the center of his living room, looking around. He had never snuck out before. Panic was raising up in him. He tried to push it down as he walked to the back door. It was nearly silent while the front door squeaked slightly from how much use it got.   
A few minutes later he had emerged from the gate leading into the front yard from the side of the house and he walked up to Dean, who had realized where he was going and met him by the gate.   
“Hey. You wanna go somewhere?” Dean asked as soon as Cas’ head poked out of the gate. Cas stared at him then finally nodded. 

“Steer it, just keep it straight.” Dean handed Cas his car keys and walked to the back of the car. Cas’ hands shook as he tried to unlock the door.   
“Are you sure we won’t get caught?” Cas asked, so quiet Dean had to walk back to him just to hear what he had said. After Cas had repeated himself Dean laughed.   
“That’s why we’re not starting the car yet. No one will catch us because there’s no noise. Besides, I’m doing this for you.” Dean grunted after his sentence, pushing his car as Cas steered it straight. The first time he had been behind a wheel.   
When they got a few houses away, Dean ran up to the drivers seat and Cas moved over so dean could drive. As the car started, Dean immediately drove it off, not leaving time for people to see what the car with the loud engine was doing. Only when they were out of the neighborhood did Cas speak.  
“What did you mean you were doing this for me?” He asked, glad it was dark because he was blushing. Dean smirked at him, something Cas noticed was practically his face at this point.  
“Well I wasn’t the one worried my family would catch me.” He laughed.  
“So what your parents wouldn’t have heard it?” Dean stopped laughing but kept his smile. Cas noticed it looked forced.  
“Well my mom’s not around and my dad… my dad is a heavy sleeper. And even if my brother heard me, he wouldn’t tell my dad.” Cas just nodded, wanting to ask more questions, but not wanting to ruin this night. Dean had grown serious when he discussed his family, and it was the first time Cas had seen him serious.   
“So where are we going?” Cas asked after a few moments. He wanted to turn the focus back into fun. Dean smiled at him and shook his head.   
“You’ll see. I promise you’ll like it.” Cas side eyed him but didn’t say anything else. They say in comfortable silence, the radio playing lightly. 

“I told you you’d like it.” Dean smiled at Cas, who was smiling and looking around. It was downtown, his favorite part of the city. There were string lights across the light poles hanging across the street, and some leading down them, and on one of the corners there’s this area that people can sit in, big rock like pillars almost, and in this area more string lights. At night when they’re on, it’s the only light in the area and it’s beautiful. The sitting area which Dean had pulled up to so they could sit there. It was almost one so no one was around. It was a perfect spot. Cas loved coming here when he could, and despite he had definitely seen it before, Dean was right. He loved it. As if Dean had somehow sensed this was Cas’ favorite spot.   
He told this all to Dean, omitting the part of Dean knowing it, it seemed weird to say, but Dean just smiled as Cas told him it was his favorite place to get away.  
“It seemed like a Cas kind of place to go.” He winked and pulled out his pack of cigarettes, offering one to Cas. Cas didn’t hesitate this time, just grabbed it and put it inbetween his teeth. He went to reach for Dean’s lighter as he had done earlier, but this time Dean kept it in his hand and held it up, lighting it for Cas. As dean pulled the lighter away, Cas inhaled, not coughing as he had done with his first one earlier. Dean lit his and inhaled twice as deeply then Cas did, experience showing that he had done this many times.   
“How long have you smoked?” Cas said his thought aloud, not feeling like he had to filter himself with Dean.   
“A year now.” Dean gave a sad smile. “You’re the only one who knows, my brother doesn’t even know.” Cas raised his eyebrows at this. Cas didn’t know anything about Dean’s brother but he knew that if his brother wouldn’t tell his dad about sneaking out in the middle of the night, then he had to be pretty cool. Cas had two brothers and both of them would’ve jumped at the chance to tell his parents that he did something wrong. In fact Cas was pretty sure that’s why he hid in his room and read so much. Nothing to get in trouble for.  
They sat there taking in the lights for a while, just sitting in silence. Cas noticed they did this a lot. It was the first time he hadn’t felt like he had to fill any silence, the first time he felt he could be himself.   
After thirty minutes and after they had each finished two cigarettes, Dean cleared his throat and stood up.   
“We should head back.” He looked almost embarrassed as he said this. Cas though briefly that Dean looked sad too, but it could’ve just been Cas’ sadness reflecting in Dean’s eyes. Cas had no desire to go back home. He knew he had to though. Despite it being Saturday, his parents would be up in a few hours to get a head start on the day.   
They walked to Dean’s car, and Cas nearly jumped in surprise when he felt Dean’s fingers slide into his. Cas almost laughed. ‘Look at that. Another first.’

They rode back to their houses, Dean started to pull over so they could stop and push the car back, but Cas put his hand on Dean’s arm.   
“No, just drive.” Dean raised his eyebrows up but smiled and turned the car back into the lane. Parking in front of his own house this time, he turned the car off and looked at Cas.   
“Well..”   
“Thank you.” Cas cut Dean off before he could say anything. “Today has been the best day I’ve had in a while. I’m glad I didn’t just spend Friday night in my room.” They both laughed as Cas said this.  
“Well to be fair, I did say I was going to get you out more.” Dean winked and opened his door. Cas followed him to the edge of the street and looked at his house. He looked back at Dean and smiled before starting his walk over. He got halfway across when he stopped and turned back to Dean. He jogged over and wrapped his arms around Dean, one arm going around his middle, cupping his lower back, the other arm reaching up to cup the back of his head.   
Dean looked surprised at first, but he relaxed into it, smiling as Cas just held him for a moment. It was a combination of him making sure Dean was okay with it and him being nervous. Seeing Dean smile told him both was okay. He smiled and thought ‘So many firsts’  
He leaned in and kissed Dean lightly, Dean returning the kiss, both of them breaking away panting. It was a light kiss, but it still took their breath away. Cas pecked him once and untangled himself, waving at Dean as he closed the backyard gate.

Sitting in his room again, safely undetected by his family, he ran the last 24 hours over and over in his head. It was like he had been an entirely different person. He would have never done any of the things he did today. But he was so glad he did.  
It was the first good day he had experienced in years, if ever. His day of firsts. The day he would take to the grave, not telling anyone except maybe his children. Never his parents. They would die if he told them he had snuck out, smoked, kissed a boy. The first day he had lived, not letting his family, or his grades, or anything be on his mind. He had only focused on letting himself let go with a new student, who had become his friend, and after that kiss, Cas was sure he was not his friend, but maybe even boyfriend.   
He wasn’t ready to think about that though. He had a full day of firsts, and he didn’t want to focus on this new one because he knew, without a doubt that if he stayed around Dean Winchester, there would be a lot of firsts.


End file.
